


baby steps, one foot at a time

by leevee



Series: lovestruck lionhearts [3]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Keith helps Lance recover from grief, Lance become Colleen's apprentice and learn to grow juniberry flower, M/M, Pining Keith (Voltron), Post-Canon Fix-It, Pre-Relationship, grief recovery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-23
Updated: 2018-12-23
Packaged: 2019-09-25 11:38:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,319
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17120651
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leevee/pseuds/leevee
Summary: The third day after Allura's death, Lance still didn’t want to be bothered by anyone, and Keith held an emergency meeting. Their journey back to Earth is going to be a long one without wormhole, but he already swore not to leave Lance alone in this mess.---or, how Lance become Colleen's apprentice, learn to grow juniberry flower, and begin interested in agriculture for alien planets.





	baby steps, one foot at a time

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, this is my first work in VLD! Season 8 left me with so many headcanons, so I would like to make a series to accommodate them. Hopefully, work won't stop me from writing!
> 
> Please bear in mind that I have no beta and English is not my native language. Comment below if there is anything I can improve ^_^

Keith stood in front of a door, preparing himself before lifting his hand to knock. One, two, three.

“Lance, breakfast is ready.”

No answer. Keith knocked three more times.

“Lance? If you didn’t intend to answer, can I come in?”

This was the fourth day. By now, he already knew the answer. One, two, three knock. Silence still replied him, constantly.

“I’ll open the door myself, then.”

Lance’s room in the IGF-Atlas was a mess. The juniberry flower Colleen Holt had put yesterday was wilting pathetically, when it supposed to bloom for days. Maybe his grief affected the plant? Colleen might would like to examine this phenomenon.

And just like yesterday, the said paladin was sleeping with tangled limbs, expression of exhaustion after dealing with continuous nightmares, a picture of Lance and Allura’s first date lying really close to the edge of his bed. Keith picked the frame before it fell down to the floor and cracked, back to the nightstand.

With hands busy tidying up the room, Keith said, “I know you’re not asleep, Lance. Your breathing is too tense.”

He didn’t expect a reply, though, so it surprised him to hear a mumble coming out from dehydrated throat. “Ugh. Morning.”

Keith smiled and turned himself towards the bed. “Morning, Lance. Get ready, we’ll have breakfast together.”

Lance grunted and pulled the blanket to cover his face, only to be pulled down by his teammate. “Leave me alone...”

“Nope. We’ve given you three days for yourself. That’s enough.” Keith pushed Lance to the floor, but his reflexes was still good so he ended up stumbled to stand. “Now get dressed and have breakfast with us. Shiro, Hunk, and Pidge are already waiting. Today, you’ll be Hunk’s cake tester.”

“Okay, okay!” Lance grumbled. “But please, get out. I wanna get ready.”

Keith rose up from the bed with a wide smile. “I give you fifteen minutes. If you’re not in the cafeteria in fifteen minutes, I’ll drag you to eat.”

* * *

After the fight, ex-members of Castle of Lions found themselves crying and huddling in Allura’s room. They talked about her for a long time, until every throat went hoarse from storytelling and convincing others that no, doing A or B won’t bring Allura back to any reality. Keith was sure at least everyone had passed the bargaining stage, except for Lance who fell into silence most of the time. And still hadn’t said any words even when the rest of the team had fallen asleep, cuddling in grief.

The first day, every member of IGF-Atlas realized two things. One, the big bad villain had been defeated, with the cost of one paladin of Voltron and the last Altean royalty. Two, their journey back to Earth would take longer than expected, since they no longer had anyone to open wormholes. Lance asked to be left alone and no one had the guts to deny his request.

The second day, Matt sat in front of Keith at lunch and came up with a theory. “Do you think Allura could be a sort-of celestial being that exists in higher plane? And that’s why she cannot go back to us in this reality?”

Coran, who somehow sat beside Matt, responded. “Like Bob?”

Keith took a gulp of his drink. “I prefer to think that she is now the foundation of all realities. She exists in the past, present, and future, so in a way, she’s everywhere?”

“That’s a good way to think,” Matt said. “She’s everywhere, but she’s a celestial being, so she can’t exist together with us?”

“Yeah.”

Maybe Lance would like to hear that, Keith thought. Maybe it could ease the grieving process, when he thought that Allura really never leave his side.

 _Or, maybe it’ll prevent him from moving on,_ the selfish side of his mind suggested. Keith turned it off by focusing on his food tray instead.

* * *

Afterwards, he asked Lance to train with him, but got rejected instead.

“Allura had said that Voltron is no longer needed. Why should we train?”

Keith sighed in the hallway. There were three things he usually did with Lance: training, bickering, and comforting each other. These were three things that he, at this period, couldn’t do with his broken-hearted partner.

* * *

The third day, Lance still didn’t want to be bothered by anyone, and Keith held an emergency meeting.

“As someone who had experienced loss of beloved ones, I believe that leaving Lance alone wouldn’t do him any good.” Keith stated. “I was isolated when I was grieving, and it doesn’t help me getting better.”

“You’re right,” Pidge said. “When Dad and Matt was declared missing, I asked Mum to leave me alone. Then I realized that the isolation was actually making me felt worse, so I make myself busy looking for the truth.”

Shiro raised his voice. “The war, ironically, also helped me not being too sad about Adam. As the commander, people constantly need me around, so I didn’t get to have grief consumed me.”

Great. Keith was so glad to have teammates who were experts at dealing with loss of loved once. With their combined knowledge, they would definitely be able to help Lance healing. “Our journey back to Earth is still quite long, and there’s not much to do in the ship, but we might find something that he can do to ease the grieving process. Got any ideas?”

Shiro raised his eyebrows. “How about training?”

Keith shook his head. “He refused my offer yesterday. Based on his reason, I think our method shouldn’t be related to battles.”

Hunk raised his hand. “The kitchen can always use some help. I mean, Lance used to be my tester in the Castle, he can go back to that position again.”

“Lance can help me, too,” Colleen said. “He might want to learn how to grow juniberry flowers.”

Keith smiled. “That’s a good start.”

* * *

This was how Keith began the fourth day after Allura’s death, and the next day, and the next days.

Keith would wake Lance up. Lance would refuse at the beginning, but Keith is way more stubborn. Then he would tell his partner what was today’s schedule.

“Today, you’ll be—”

“—testing food in the kitchen, right? Hunk had told me at dinner last night.”

Keith grinned. “Great! Then let’s get started!”

Today’s lunch was awesome. Lance put his tray across Keith’s and used his spork to point at the mashed potato. “Try them. They are a bit seasoned, according to _my idea_.”

It was good. Keith was going to form a comment when he noticed that Lance’s smile was wider than last week.

After dinner, the black and red paladin walked back to their respective room while talking about their day.

“I think I’m starting to get the hang of gardening,” Lance said. “Juniberry flowers are hard to grow, even when we’ve had samples of Altean environment. How did Colleen figure them out based on Coran’s stories alone, when we had no idea what Altea looked like?”

Earlier, Lance didn’t make gestures as he speak. But maybe one day he would, and Keith would definitely notice. “Well, Colleen is a genius.”

“She’s super _genius._ ‘Super’ can’t even cover it!”

* * *

When Keith knocked Lance’s door at the beginning of the thirtieth day, one two three, he didn’t have to open the door by himself.

“You’re... ready for breakfast?”

Lance’s eyebags were getting less swollen, but his eyes still looked a little bit red. “I can’t sleep after 0400, so I decided to prepare for the day.”

Oh. Nightmares. At least now Lance had decided to do something to fill his sleepless nights instead of curling in the bed, waiting for Keith to come while pretending to sleep.

Together, the paladins walk through the hall with morning vigor reflected on their faces. “So, what am I gonna do today?”

* * *

On the fiftieth day, Lance already standing behind his door with arms across his chest.

“Keith, you’ve heard me last night: from now on, I’ll be helping Colleen with her garden. You don’t have to brief me every morning, now.”

Lance was getting better. He didn’t need Keith to train him sword-fighting, didn’t need Keith to wake him up every morning, didn’t need Keith to help tidying up his room every time he felt angry over Allura’s death, didn’t need Keith to brief him every morning.

As Lance recovered, there were less activities for them to do together, and it would be an understatement if the small, selfish part of Keith said he’s _disappointed_.

A bigger part of him was happy for Lance’s progress, though. Keith convinced himself that it was happiness that he felt the most.

“So... that means I won’t have to come to check you every morning, now?”

Lance lightly pushed Keith’s shoulder and lead them towards the cafeteria. “Yes. Now you can go straight to the cafeteria without waiting for me first, so you can have longer time to sleep.”

Oh, so that was the case. Lance just didn’t want to bother him too much. Keith grinned and jabbed his upper arm. “Hey, I passed your room every time I go to the cafeteria, you know? Checking you up every morning doesn’t bother me at all!”

There was confusion clouded his co-leader’s face before a bright smile beamed up. “Oh yeah, you’re right,” he giggled. “Well, I don’t mind having company when walking through the hall.”

Now Keith could be sure that his current biggest feeling was happiness.

* * *

On the third month, Lance asked Keith to come watching him working in the greenhouse.

“The juniberries are blooming!” he said while almost slamming his tray on the cafeteria’s table at lunch. “You should see them, they’re so pretty!”

Keith loved to, but didn’t Shiro asked him to do something after lunch?

“Sorry, Keith,” the captain slid next to him, “but after further inspection, your assistance is actually unneeded. You’re free for the rest of this afternoon.”

The black paladin gaped at his luck—or maybe Shiro overheard their conversation earlier? Anyway, those words caused Lance to grin widely, “Great! Finish your food, Mullet, we’re going to the greenhouse straight away!”

Keith dead-panned. “But your tray is fuller than mine.”

“Doesn’t matter,” Lance shook his head. “Last one to finish lunch and arrive at the greenhouse is rotten egg!”

“Wait, can you even—”

“Eat!”

Immediately, Lance scooped his mashed potato as much as his spork could fit and shoved it to his mouth. Keith couldn’t believe that this guy, last month, couldn’t even finish half of his breakfast even with Pidge forcing him to eat. It seemed that his appetite had come back to its usual.

He still touched the greenhouse’s door one second faster than Lance, though. They debated whether the competition was actually fair or not (it never was, because Keith always wanted to have Lance racing really close behind him—never too far, but with enough winning chances).

* * *

True to his words, the juniberries were blooming purple bright, and they were so beautiful.

“Colleen took her time to taught me the basics. She even made me start on growing beans! Beans, Keith, we already did that at school.”

Lance kept talking while pushing buttons on his tab. “She knew that my interest actually lies on this babies, because it’s Allura’s favorite flower, you know. Growing them by myself just feels... right. But she also told me to be patient, because they’re quite hard to maintain, so she said that unless I can be patient while growing other types of plants, I won’t be allowed to touch the juniberries.”

Keith tried to look at Lance’s tablet, wondering what was in the screen. “When did she give you the pass?”

“Um, a couple weeks after I began, maybe?”

Colleen’s voice suddenly filled the conversation. “You should saw his expression when I gave him the permission. He was harvesting veggies, and poor fresh carrot was almost crushed when I said he can start taking care of the juniberry flower.”

Keith glanced towards the botanist. “Did he celebrate it with any silly dance?”

She shook his head. “Sadly, no.”

“You’ll see it one day, Colleen,” Lance assured her, “but not in front of the flowers.”

“The flowers can’t judge you, Lance.”

Lance stopped using his tab. “We never know, Keith! These are alien flowers!”

“That you grew yourself,” Keith said, slightly amused with how Lance started a bicker like their old days at the Castle of Lions.

“My point still stands, Mullet: these are alien flowers that we hadn’t know everything about. For all it’s worth, it can be a type of spying flowers.”

As much as Keith want to drag the bickering, he realized that today’s focus is the flower and not Lance. “Okay, back to juniberries. If you’re gonna ask my opinion, I can only say that they’re pretty.”

“No, that’s not why I took you here!” Lance said while stretching his arms wide, the flower plot separated the boys as he began his show. “Try complimenting me.”

Keith blinked multiple times. “Um, what?”

He looked carefully, but there was no trace of joke in Lance’s expression. “Compliment me. I don’t know what happened to you in the quantum abyss, but you’re getting good at complimenting people. So try compliment me.”

Well, it’s not like complimenting Lance was the hardest thing to do; the guy had lots of good points that Keith prefer to list them before sleeping instead of counting sheeps. He only said them out loud when Lance was feeling vulnerable and really low on morale (and somehow it happened really often after they went back to Earth).

So he took a deep breath and said, “Well, here goes nothing.”

Lance smiled encouragingly.

“I know it’s only been three months since we defeated Honerva and lost Allura in the process. We understand if you feel sad, like the world without her is totally pointless. I’ve lost my dad too, and Shiro at some point, so I know how hard it is to live knowing your loved ones are already gone.”

The blue eyes became clouded. Keith took a glance to the flowers—did they just begin wilting? He cleared his throat and continued. “But considering your progress in these three months, I gotta say, you’ve done great. I know you have nightmares, Lance, and waking up to start the day is very hard to do. And yet, you had breakfast with us every morning. And smile. And make jokes. And become Hunk’s food tester and growing juniberries and living.”

Had Allura told them that juniberries could _glow?_ Lance was beaming while cradling the flower petals softly, and there were soft floating glitters around the soil, like seeing quintessence being released.

The sight caused Keith to feel somewhat soft. “You are so strong, Lance. I thought you were very strong before, but this kind of strength is something else. I’m glad I had my back protected by someone as amazing as you.”

Lance chuckled, and Keith’s heart soared upon seeing his happiness. “I still have nightmares, sometimes. And you’re right. Waking up after having nightmares is really had, especially when I really wished I could talk to Allura about that then realize that Allura is gone. But I also know that you’ll knock my door, telling me my activity for the day. I have something to do, every day. That thought keep me going, until now.”

He walked to stand by Keith’s side. “I don’t know what Allura intend to do when she gave me these Altean marks, but somehow it helps me in gardening. When I feel sad, the plants wilt. And when I’m happy, they come back to full health. Especially the juniberries. I know it’s the mark that causing plants to be in sync with my feelings—my family had a small farm and I was never this good with plants—and that’s why you see these flowers at their best when you compliment me. Because I feel happy.”

Wow. Could Altean marks glow on human skin? Because those marks had brighter color than usual and it made Lance looked more beautiful than ever. Thank you, Allura, for blessing his gay heart.

Lance was staring at him. Shoot, he should say something. What to say? “Um, me and Matt had a theory.”

Really, Keith? This was how he’s going to begin? But Lance nudged him to continue, and he couldn’t deny his request. “Anyway, I’d like to think that Allura is now a higher being, a foundation for all realities. She’s everywhere in every time, all of her quintessence are surrounding us and that’s why the plants responded to you. Because she loves you and she wanted you to know.”

“By communicating with plants.”

“I don’t know! It’s a ridiculous theory, why did I try to tell you?”

“It’s not ridiculous.”

Keith blinked several times, but Lance still wore his gentle zero-joke smile. “Really?”

“Yeah, I like that. Knowing that Allura’s always be with me, with these marks, with the plants... in a way, I never lost her.” Lance patted his partner’s shoulder. And as long as we carry her legacy, the world will never lost her, too.”

Before Keith realized, Lance had plucked a flower and tucked them on his left ear. “I know you’re the one who made sure I have something to do every day. It really helps me coping. Thank you, Keith, for everything you’ve done.”

The words stuck on his tongue. But were there any words to describe how... pretty, this scene looked like? And the softness of Lance’s finger lingered on his ear?

Colleen’s voice broke the silence, though. “Lance, I think you should go back to your project!”

“Oh, right!” the apprentice pulled back his hands. “Visiting hour’s over, you can go back to your business, now.”

“I can’t stay here?”

“The project is a secret, so nope.” Lance raised his finger and shook it. “You gotta go. Now. See you at dinner!”

Keith scoffed as Lance ushered him towards the exit door. Lance animated his fingers while talking again. The plan had _worked_ , and Keith had no intention of stop monitoring Lance’s recovery progress until they landed on Earth.

Until forever.

* * *

A week before IGF-Altas landed on Earth, Lance came visiting Keith when he was training.

“Lance? What are you doing here?” He ended the training sequence and took a proper look—is that a succulent in his hand?

“This is my secret project,” he answered sheepishly. “You lived in the desert back on Earth, and I think you’d like a reminder of home. Plus, it’s very easy to maintain and doesn’t take up much space.”

A succulent. Lance, the brightest apprentice Colleen had ever have, master of growing juniberry flower, had spent his time researching on how to grow succulents on a spaceship. For Keith.

“Thank you,” he croaked. “It’s cute. The succulent.”

“I’ll teach you how to take care of it,” Lance said, “but first we have to set it aside somewhere safe.”

“Why?”

“Because I want you to spar with me.”

The black paladin gaped. “What.”

Lance, who had found a safe spot for the plant, put his hand behind his neck and said, “Well, even if Voltron is no longer needed, I still need to learn self-defense, right? It’s been long since I hit the training deck, but spar with me.”

Keith thought his heart couldn’t soar higher when Lance looked for him before his first date with Allura, but then he showed the juniberry flowers he planted himself. And he thought that was the moment he felt in love with Lance the most, until this one.

Lance was healing, and there was hope in this universe.

He smirked, and prepared his footing. “Get ready to be slain, Sharpshooter.”

The said sparring partner gulped. “Please be gentle.”

(he let Lance win, after two consecutive losses, and they talk about Keith’s new succulent afterwards.)

**Author's Note:**

> This work, in particular, will set up Lance's future career as an agriculture expert (from my headcanon). While Keith turns Blade of Marmora as humanitarian organization, Lance figures out how to help these planets sustain themselves by teaching them how to farm! He's not a simple farmer, he's a simple farmer in space! Also, Lance is a bi with big heart; surely he can love two people at the same time, right?
> 
> See you next time!


End file.
